Time doesn’t heal

Time does nothing but tick. Count the days that go by and it will never change the fact that waking up without you and every constant reminder that you are gone takes me right back to day one. Over and over again. I will love you forever and miss you for always.

I don’t want to do today.

I dont want to get up or even wake up. This day is too much for me to handle. So is tomorrow and so was yesterday. I don’t want to go to a cemetery to visit my daughter. I don’t want to plan a party she won’t attend. I don’t want to have this hole in the pit of my stomach that aches so bad. I don’t want to smile or laugh. I don’t want to talk to anyone at all. I don’t have a choice.

I want you back.

I want to hold you again. I want to smell you and i want to know what you look like now. I want things to be the way they use to be when there was so much hope and we were complete.

I wanted you to be healed. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to watch you blossom.

I miss you.

My best friend

a year ago today I lost my best friend ,my sister. I never imagined life without you. you made life so much more joyful. you always brought light to a dull

moment. you were a fighter. you have inspired me In many more ways than you can imagine. loosing you made a big impact in my life. it became a challenge. the BIGGEST challenge I had to face. I’ve kept my head high and when I feel weak and feel like I can’t fight anymore I think “do it for Celeste”. or “fight like Celeste” and I would make my way through. you have made me the person I am today. without you coming into my life I would never be who I am. as people see me around they think of me as a younger version of you. Nobody can understand how proud I get when someone says

“your just like your sister”.

I know your w/ our Heavenly Father in Heaven watching down on us but I just want you to know I love and miss you so much and life will never be the same without you. see you soon baby girl💗👼🏽 can’t wait for you to show me around heaven when I get there. 😊 I am Team #CelesteStrong 💗💪🏽

-Giselle A 1-2-2016

Welcome to my blog

I have so many thoughts going through my head. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. Sometimes I’m ready to conquer the world and plaster the smile on my face that’s needed to give me just enough strength to convince myself that i can. Somethings though, I’m stuck. Literally. I can’t get past the road blocks and the realization hits me that she’s gone. Again. Like it just happened and I’m paralyzed in grief. It’s unexplainable but writing and expressing helps me get it out. Putting into words how i feel at that moment. What triggered me and above all remembering how much i love my baby girl and just want to hold her but i can’t. This is my way of expressing that to..her. And just maybe there are people that can relate. I’ll post things on my personal Facebook sometimes but as much as i love the responses of strength and love, i feel like I’m asking for pity. It’s the opposite. I do it for strength and I just need to express myself. So here i am. My expression, my words and thoughts. My blog. Not sure how well this is going to go so here goes nothing.